Telemetry is just a bridge, bruv. One minute you’re strolling across it all proper and sensible like you’ve actually got your shit together… next minute some absolute melt of a goose has got root access, Grafana’s having a full-blown meltdown in the group chat, and you’re sat there dropping bare quid so a seagull in a tiny hard hat, high-vis jacket and little boots can solemnly announce the exact second your bridge decided to collapse into a tragic art installation about failure and poor life choices. No telemetry? Only pure, unfiltered vibes. The bridge has selected a new load-bearing strategy involving pure spite, a half-eaten pasty, three warm cans of lager and the desperate hope that gravity is just a suggestion. Pray harder you soft, gormless little muppet.

If you think you’ve got to pay for coding agents geeza you’re actually clinically off your tits. Free Devin, Hermes, OpenCode, Copilot, Cline, Aider, Goose, Codex, Continue, Kilo Code, OpenHands, Pi, Roo, Crush, Tabby, jcode, Freebuff, generous Claude Desktop. All of them just sit there wide open like a fridge at 2 a.m. after a heavy session, light still on, cold air pouring out, full of someone else’s leftovers while you’re over here writing loads of cheques like it’s 2023 and you’ve just found a tenner down the side of the settee. Stop treating every agent like it’s some proper luxury subscription you need to flash about just to impress the barman, you wet lettuce. Half this shit’s free as chips, half of it runs on whatever knackered old laptop held together with electrical tape and spite, and the rest will take whatever dodgy broke API key you’ve got rattling round the bottom of your pocket next to a bent fiver and a half-eaten pasty. Your wallet is not a personality trait, you gormless state.

I’m building the infrastructure layer I wish existed for AI; where every decision is traceable, every system is replayable, and “trust me” gets replaced with proof. Looking for a deeply technical co-founder who wants to build foundational software, not another wrapper.